Tag: womens surf and yoga retreat

Fighting Breast Cancer with Triple Positive Energy

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“Well, from the beginning, I knew that I was not going to go out without a fight. People walk out of their house every day not knowing that they could get hit by a bus. Do you think that they leave every day worrying that that’s going to happen to them? No, they walk out of their house cocky, taking on the day, like they’re gonna be fine and enjoying their life that way.”

1 in 8 women get breast cancer and younger women are experiencing breast cancer now than ever before. Alida Brandenburg, a former Amiga, shares her own breast cancer story. She begins by sharing her surf story, a journey that picked her up and turned her life in a different direction. But just like how she learned in surfing to let go of control in the water, she found herself completely surrounded by uncertainty when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. During a routine checkup at age 37 (with no symptoms present), she discovered two different types of breast cancer in both breasts.

Alida survived multiple surgeries and 16 rounds of chemotherapy all in just one year. She recalls her story, both mental and physical while also offering advice to other breast cancer patients. She swore to beat her triple negative cancer with a triple positive attitude. Her experience has radically changed her view of her body and what it does for her, most especially in the water.

A PREVIEW OF THIS EPISODE:

I loved surfing enough that the perfectionist in me was willing to be incredibly uncomfortable with my failure because I wanted to keep doing it so much. It became this mindfulness practice in motion.

Last year in January, I went in for one of my routine breast exams and they found that I had breast cancer in not just one type, but two types and in both breasts. So yeah, it was shocking in the sense that I wasn’t expecting it to happen so young. I was 37 at the time I was diagnosed. So I went through 16 rounds of chemo, four of which are the most hellish, terrible type that you can get. There’s actually a lifetime max of four rounds that you can do of that chemo because it is so brutal. It will kill you essentially if you do more than four.

It used to be that over 50 they recommend you start getting mammograms every year. Just this week it was announced that they’ve lowered that to 40 because it is now so common that women get it. And what they’re seeing is that younger and younger women are getting it. So PSA, don’t skip your screenings.

So much in this situation is very destabilizing and challenging. And to harken back to what I was talking about earlier with what surfing has taught me is, you know, it’s like, well, I have to be okay with that. I can’t control all of this. I can’t control the way that the wave moves. I can’t control my strength that day, I might just be having an off day. I can’t control this other surfer that just snaked my wave.

 Listen now on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

An Alternative Approach to Yoga and Expression: with Reesie Richards

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“I was such an awkward weirdo at 11, but I was really really flexible.”

 

What is yin yoga? 

Yin is a really simple vocabulary. There are only 12 archetypal poses. It’s a slower-paced type of yoga inspired by traditional Chinese medicine beliefs. Everyone is believed to possess Qi (energy pathways); holding longer poses allows these pathways to open up and flow more freely.  In Reesie’s yoga class, “[she] sets the timer for 5 minutes at a time and you sit there as relaxed as you can be. The goal is to target your fascia, allowing it to slowly release and open up.”

In this episode, SWA head yoga teacher, Reesie Richards, describes her background and introduction to body movement, which centers around dance and yoga. Since age 16 she practiced yoga and learned with Paul Greeley, the “creator” of Yin yoga. She chats about the differences between Yin and restorative yoga and how she caters her yoga practice specifically to surfers at SWA retreats. Reesie’s yoga offers a space for all to experience freedom of expression. It is a hilarious and entertaining blend of relaxation and education about bodily functions. She emphasizes functional vs. aesthetic yoga, and the idea that different bodies are bound to move in varying ways. 

A PREVIEW OF THIS EPISODE:

“Being a yoga teacher isn’t so much of how I identify myself. I would go more towards, I’m a surfer or a dancer or a goofball. Again that’s part of the beauty of how yoga has been this awesome vehicle in the backdrop my whole life. It’s sort of sexy indifference on my part. It’s not the thing I care about the most, as much as that feels wrong to admit.”

Reesie’s yoga practice initially came from dance. One of her favorite forms of dance growing up was capoeira,

“A hodgepodge of African influences brought to Brazil by africans during the slave trade. They weren’t allowed to have any sort of self defense, so they disguised martial arts through ritual and dance and it’s an art and so many things, it’s like a chess game.”

Dance, capoeira and surf have always been the things I’ve been obsessed with. But those things have always come in and out, yoga has been the silent rock in the background of my physical life that has been keeping me safe, sane and healthy.

My dance teacher’s husband was Paul Greeley, the “creator” of Yin Yoga. He kind of invented how it is in today’s world. He got the form of the long yin poses from this super out-there guy Paulie Zinc, who’s a martial artist who Paul used to practice with. I started taking his classes when I was 16.

After an hour of Yin Yoga with Reesie,

You feel really grounded because you’ve had an hour with yourself. Mentally you get really calm, your breath slows down. At the end of class you’ll find you’re breathing super shallow and slow. I don’t exactly know how to describe how sparkly the feeling is.

Listen now on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

Find Out How Much You’ll Really Surf at Your SWA Retreat!

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Surf With Amigas

When you sign up for a surf retreat, you expect to surf your brains out, and as passionate surfers, we really get it. At Surf With Amigas, rest assured, every aspect of your retreat will be planned around the surf. We are frothing surfers that love the water as much as you do!

FAQ: IS THERE A SCHEDULED TIME TO SURF?

ANSWER: We do schedule our paddle out times. Why? This is how we assure that you get to the best surf spot for your ability with the best possible conditions! For each scheduled session we also coordinate with videographers to make sure all your awesome rides are captured on video to be reviewed and enjoyed later. The surf coaches will join you at all of these scheduled sessions, where you’ll receive in-water instruction, coaching, and support. 

The scheduled surf sessions have no specific end-time. We’ll stay in the water as long as conditions permit or until you’re ready to go. We might give you a head’s up that the tide is really dropped out, breakfast is now ready and yoga will be soon, to encourage you to find that last wave in, but if you just want to keep the salt-water soak going, as long as there is no safety issue, we’ll support you in doing that.

FAQ: HOW ARE THE SURF SESSIONS PLANNED?

ANSWER: Our team’s expert knowledge of the various surf spots in the area is used to plan the surf sessions around a variety of factors including tide, wind, swell size/direction, avoiding crowd, plus the surf ability of each surfer. It’s a complicated matrix sometimes, particularly because we will usually split up the group by ability level and have people going in different directions, but it’s important to us to make sure that everybody has access to waves that are suitable to their ability and everyone has the opportunity to be in the water during the best conditions possible.

A typical retreat day might look something like this:

5am coffee and first breakfast
6am SURF
9am Second (Hot) breakfast
10am optional second surf or Classroom session or Chill time
12pm lunch
2pm yoga
4pm adventure activity, classroom session, sunset surf!
6pm dinner

Settle in and take a break from having to worry about schedules and planning. We’ve got you covered and you’ll be surfed out and satisfied by the end of the week!

Queer Surf, Evolving Lineups, & Competitive Surf Culture: with Kyla Langen

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“It was so challenging, of course. Knowing there were so many other surfers in the closet not coming out and just knowing that’s how it had to be if you wanted to maintain sponsorship. So knowing I couldn’t really be out and public, I feel like it’s almost formed my identity in a way.”

A Bit AbouT KYLA LANGEn:

Kyla has been riding waves since she could walk and lifeguarding and teaching surfing for over two decades. After surfing professionally for 12 years, they swam upstream as a queer person in a heteronormative surf industry.  Because of her experiences and limitations in the surf industry Kyla founded Queer Surf to help expand surf culture and increase queer ocean access.  Kyla believes in the healing, empowering magic of the sea and wants all people to have access to it.

Queer Surf is a California-based community organization aimed at making the ocean more accessible through knowledge sharing and skill building. Founded in 2016 by Kyla and her partner/ insatiable boogie boarder Nic Brise, Queer Surf reduces barriers and helps the LGBTQ+ community navigate all aspects of ocean recreation. Through a host of programs and events including lessons, coaching, clinics, retreats, meet-ups, night school, book clubs and more, Queer Surf builds community and fosters a safer space for non binary, trans, and queer people at the beach. Queer Surf believes deeply in the magical healing powers of the ocean and is committed to building access to the coast.

What is it like to identify as queer in a heteronormative and male-dominated surf culture?

In this episode, Kyla Langen, former pro surfer and founder of Queer Surf, reminisces with our host Holly Beck about their time together on tour and surfing around the world in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. They chat about the structure and expectations for female professional surfers of the time and what it meant for those who did not fit the standard mold (for queer folks in particular). Kyla recalls their struggles with sponsors and having to hide parts of their identity in order to remain supported. They dive into the barriers to queer surfing and the journey in creating Queer Surf. Kyla dreams of a more inclusive, friendly lineup, where people of all bodies and beliefs can find connection and awareness through the ocean, using any kind of board.

A PREVIEW OF THIS EPISODE:

“In the early days it was just like, I’m a surfer. It doesn’t matter who I’m into it doesn’t matter what else you know, I can present mostly as a surfer. Then as things started evolving, sponsors want you to wear their clothes for their things. They want you in their baby tees and they want you in their shirts and dresses. That started to get a little awkward. This is not me, this is not what I wanna be wearing, this is not my identity. It definitely came to the point where, okay, can I maintain sponsorship?

I basically started dating someone and my team manager was starting to pick up on it. And real quick it was like, you got to keep that under wraps. You can’t be that, you can’t do that.

You’ve got to be marketable to the mainstream. You have to be a feminine woman who can model. And so basically I had to decide, okay, am I going to keep down this path keep faking it?

And nowadays, I mean, I wonder, did the tour really just get more straight or are people just hiding?”

 Listen now on Apple Podcasts or Spotify,

Surfboard Options at SWA Retreats: What To Know Before You Go

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Frequently Asked Questions:

“Can I try multiple surfboards during the retreat?

What surfboards will be available?

Do I need to bring my own surfboard?”

At all of our retreat locations, and particularly in Northern Nicaragua + Southern Costa Rica, we have large quivers with boards of all shapes and sizes to choose from. You can most certainly collaborate with our coaches to find the perfect board for you, and if you want to try multiple boards, just let us know! From shortboards, fish, and mid-lengths, to high performance longboards or more classic-style logs, we aim to have a well rounded bunch of boards for all lady surfers’ preferences. 

We don’t use soft-tops – Contrary to a lot of surf camps and schools, we do not believe in learning on soft-tops. Many surf schools that use soft tops use them because they are cheaper, more durable, and if there is a large student to instructor ratio, everyone can stay safe. The downside to using soft tops is that the fat rails and overly flexible board and fins, perform differently than a standard fiberglass board. Our philosophy is not to simply give you a “surf experience” but to teach you the tools to be able to go home and paddle out confidently on your own. We will teach you how to manage the board safely and you will progress in your surfing faster.

Here’s how it usually works:

First, when you sign up for a retreat and fill out your Amiga profile,  we will ask for a few personal surf details including:

  1. Prior surf experience if any (ability level, frequency, where you surf)
  2. Board preference if you have one (size, shape)
  3. Height + weight (to determine the most fitting board)

*if you have any questions about specific boards, be sure to email your retreat leader before your retreat begins.

Then, with this information our experienced surf coaches pre-assign the board(s) they think will most suit your surf level + preferences. When you arrive to the retreat you may start on that board, or pick another. You’ll always have a chance to swap throughout the week with the available boards at the retreat. We recommend to make a note when you fill out your surf details sheet before the retreat if you’re interested in trying multiple or very specific types of boards- so that our team can pull a few aside for you! *IF you are a short-boarder, we highly recommend traveling to the retreat with your own shred sled as our shortboard quiver is not as diverse as our quiver starting at 7′ long.

Surf With Amigas Costa Rica

We will support you in reaching your surfing goals and assist in choosing the most appropriate surfboard(s) to move towards those goals! At Surf With Amigas we invest in offering high-quality surfboards for ladies of ALL surf levels across all of our retreat locations.

Have any questions about surfboard options at a specific retreat location? ASK HERE!

 

Dirt Roads, Salty Hair and Good Waves: The Story of Surf With Amigas

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“The community of women surfers and women travelers is really special and so in starting this podcast we hope to really build more ways for people to stay connected and stay a part of that community.”

Surf with Amigas (SWA) has joined the world of podcasters, under the name “Second Breakfast”! If you’ve been on a retreat with us, you know we are big fans of Second Breakfast. We believe in that extra nourishing hot meal shared with new friends post-surf, where we break down what happened in the morning session. We pour a second cup of coffee and get into engaging discussions about life, current events, and of course, all things surfing. Amigas are smart, successful, inspiring women of all ages with interesting stories and world views. We’re not afraid to tackle controversial topics. We appreciate unique perspectives that challenge us to think differently. This podcast brings those discussions to a wider audience to be enjoyed at any time and any place, second cup of coffee optional.

In our inaugural episode, Holly Beck and Jackie George, co-creators of SWA, share their backgrounds in surfing and their journey to create all women’s surf and yoga retreats. From the early days of creating spaces for women’s surfing in Central America, the dirtbag dusty days of no internet and thatched roofs, to ultimately running 8 retreat locations worldwide. Holly and Jackie take us back in time; they share some of their travel experiences and moments that solidified both their friendship and business partnership. You’ll also get a sneak peak of some of their goals and insights as to what SWA may look like moving forwards. Above all, you’ll learn the story and purpose behind Surf With Amigas’ mission, why Holly and Jackie aspire to inspire women and help them step outside their comfort zone, in surfing and in life.

A PREVIEW OF THE FIRST EPISODE:

After stepping away from her career as a professional surfer, Holly thought,

Continue reading “Dirt Roads, Salty Hair and Good Waves: The Story of Surf With Amigas”

River and Sea – A Life of Reading Water

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After adding our first ever Adventure Retreat to the schedule (a 3-day whitewater rafting and camping trip in California) we decided to catch up with fellow surfer, kayaker, and yoga teacher, Saanti Steyer. In the excerpt below, Saanti recounts all the things that she’s learned by spending time in rivers and oceans, and the synergy of two sports- surfing and white water rafting.

As I’m floating along the river I feel a sense of calm, the river is calm. The water is peacefully moving downstream, swiftly but with ease. It reminds me of sitting out in the ocean, those moments in-between sets, dangling off my surfboard, body submerged in water, waiting for waves to come. The water goes quiet for a moment, resting, and I take in my surroundings, the beauty of the California Trinities seen at a river’s pace. I think back to the dense Southern Costa Rican jungle being lit up by the first light of day.

Southern Costa Rica Surf With Amigas

This view of land from water, from river, from ocean, it’s my favorite thing.

Continue reading “River and Sea – A Life of Reading Water”

A Guru’s Guide to Surf Skincare

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As surfers, we’re constantly in the sun. Most of us are accustomed to that fried chicken feeling you get after surfing for a few hours, those sessions where you kept claiming “just one more,” even while your skin roasts, turning alarming shades of red.

Although I love living close to the equator (8 degrees to be precise), my skin protests. My Irish ancestors weren’t doing me any favors. I just wasn’t built for the life of sun’s out buns out.

Because I refuse to stop doing what I love, in recent years I’ve finally started to prioritize skincare. On one of my last retreats in Nicaragua, I hit the jackpot of skincare wisdom. Bunched around the lunch table after surfing, a group of Amigas and I started chatting about our skin routines and efforts to keep our skin feeling safe. We began firing questions at our Amiga, Malissa, who works as an Esthetician.

Amiga squad in Northern Nicaragua
What follows are some of Malissa’s hacks to perfect your skin routine. Malissa emphasized that we’re all bound to age, form wrinkles, stretch marks and spots on our skin. We shouldn’t sacrifice living the way we want in an attempt to prevent the inevitable! But we can better protect ourselves with the tools (most importantly hats, sunscreen and rashguards) to keep our skin supple and protected.

Why do you think skin care is important, does your routine change when you spend more time in the sun? Did your routine change this week on the retreat?

I think skin care is very important. It clears skin impurities off the skin, helps keep the skin clear, helps with signs of aging, and you need to use SPF to help prevent skin cancer. When I’m in the sun more I definitely am using more SPF, I will use lighter feeling products, and alway have a hat on.

My routine was definitely a little more minimal this week.   More SPF, just one serum, light moisturizer and no exfoliants.  I just wanted to have fun this week and not think too much about my skin. I was also tired at the end of the night and I wanted less to do.

What are the best preventive steps you can take daily to protect your skin?

A good cleanser, exfoliant, toner, moisturizer, and SPF! Once you have that, you can think about adding in a vitamin C serum, eye cream, and a retinol.

Continue reading “A Guru’s Guide to Surf Skincare”

Stuck With Fear From A Past Surf Injury? Holly Beck Offers Suggestions To Overcome!

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Lately, I’ve received a few emails from potential clients who mention that they experience a lingering fear  from a past injury. That situation seems to be really common and brought to mind the story of an Amiga that I met back in October in Morocco.

I was in Morocco on day 1 of a Surf With Amigas Holistic Surf Coaching Retreat, just getting to know the guests and starting to form a mental image of each participant, her goals, and how I could be most helpful. The vast majority of our guests use boards from our quiver to avoid having to travel with a board bag but one of the participants, we’ll call her “Sarah”, had brought her own – a Takayama mid-length. I could tell by our chit-chat about the conditions even before we paddled out that she knew how to surf. She presented as strong and confident, walking down the hill to the waist-high peeling rights.

In the water, she paddled assertively, positioning herself well, taking off with perfect timing, and maneuvering down the line. “She knows how to surf!” I thought, and then told her so as she paddled back out to me. “Ya, I’m fine when the waves are small and easy,” she replied.

A few days later, the swell was small enough that the point break was slow and boring. We made our way around to the more exposed beach break on the other side. The waves still weren’t what I’d call “big”, but they were closer to head high. The peaks popped up and broke more quickly. The wave was soft, breaking over sand, but there was a quickness to it, particularly in comparison to the slow, easy point break waves we had been surfing. I noticed a different energy in Sarah. If she was closer to the peak, she’d pull back and not take off. If she was anything close to being a little late, she’d let the wave go. Having surfed with her for a few days already, I believed she had the skill to take off late and deep and make it, but she was avoiding those situations.

In taking a moment to connect with her and ask about her experience, her story emerged. 20 years ago, she’d been in deep Baja CA, a week into what was meant to be a month-long+ trip. While trying to take off on a wave, she was a bit too late on a steep section. She tried, but didn’t make the drop. She became one with the lip, and in the process landed on her fin, which gouged deep into her thigh. It took a while to get the attention of the people she was with, to get to the relative safety of the beach, only to then endure a long bumpy drive to a very basic clinic and scary health care situation in a remote area. The injury ended her trip. Once back at home and physically healed up, she flung herself back into the ocean.

She didn’t want to let the injury stop her. She didn’t want to appear weak. She tried to forget about it and just keep surfing. That worked…. sort of.

As we drifted outside the surf zone, I quietly listened to her story. It all made sense to me. Her body had suffered a painful trauma. If the injury had happened in CA and she’d received help immediately, including good medical care, and the whole experience hadn’t ruined a long anticipated adventure, it may not have become as heavy of an emotional weight. In her case, the physical memory of painful injury combined with the fear and anxiety of the remoteness of the location and large serving of disappointment due to the altered trip, all combined to serve as a significant trauma.

The coping mechanism often suggested by our society : to “just get over it and get back out there,” worked, in the sense that it didn’t stop her from continuing to surf. However, it didn’t help her process the trauma. Therefore, even 20 years later, she still felt the effects.

My turn to get one!

Sarah initially told her story without much emotion. It was very matter of fact, as if telling a story that had happened to someone else. I listened, asked a few questions to be clear on the details, and then started by validating how scary that must have been at the time. I gave her space and encouragement to sit with the feelings of fear. When given an opportunity to connect to the feelings of the story, instead of just the details, the tears started flowing. She apologized, but I encouraged her to let the feelings happen. It’s ok to not be ok right now.

After the moment passed, I explained that it’s totally normal and understandable that she feels fear when faced with a situation (a steep drop) that triggers her body to remember a time it was injured. By ignoring it or avoiding those situations, she isn’t allowing herself the chance to move past it. We talked about the importance of accepting the fear.

Rather than trying to avoid the fear or feeling shame that it exists, the healing process begins with allowing oneself to feel it.

Her body is trying to keep her safe. That’s a good thing. We took a minute to listen to that message, accept it, and actually thank it for its efforts, allowing whatever emotions arise to flow. I suggested to talk to that fearful part, telling it, “I’m sorry you were hurt so badly. That was a very scary time and your reaction was perfectly justified. Thank you for trying to keep me safe. I appreciate you.”

Once that fearful part has had its chance to fully express whatever needs to be expressed, and those feelings are accepted and appreciated, there’s space for the next step, which is to notice what has changed since then. Since that time, Sarah has been surfing for 20 years. She is a much better surfer than she was back then. She has the skills to make steep drops. If there’s any doubt about that, surf coaching and working on popup technique can help.

Then, start small. On a small wave that’s only a little bit scary, try to pop up late. Notice the feelings that come up. If there’s fear, thank it for what it’s trying to do (keep you safe), but assure that part that you are capable. Come up with a positive mantra that works not to argue with that voice, but to change the script. Little by little, work up to bigger waves and steeper drops, not ignoring fearful feelings, but embracing and accepting them.

Celebrate successes, lean into falls, and smile at the simple pleasures and teachings of the ocean.

In preparing to post this story, I checked in with Sarah to see if she would be ok with me sharing and also to see if the she’d noticed any positive changes in the four months since our sessions. She said,

Yes it did help…. I repeat “all is well” to myself pretty much every time I turn for a wave now. It reminds me I’m ok, that I’m in control, and that it’s supposed to be fun. I think I never gave myself permission to talk about my injury because it maybe seemed trivial and I had no one who would understand it in a more complex way. So yes, it definitely helped. And it’s a process. Even just the permission to address those things in my surfing that hold me back helped so much. I feel like every session since Morocco is accompanied by a memory or conversation from the retreat that empowers me. I’m really glad I went and I look forward to going on another next year. It was an incredible experience and I really appreciate you listening and noticing and being there.

Holly recently completed a Master’s in Counseling and has been incorporating mental and emotional awareness into coaching to create Holistic Surf Coaching retreats. For more info on these specific retreats, click here.

Never Grab Your Leash String! The Story of an Amiga Who Lost the Tip of Her Finger

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I SPENT 7 DAYS CHATTING AND FROLICKING IN THE COSTA RICAN SURF WITH IRENE WITHOUT EVER NOTICING SHE WAS MISSING THE TIP OF HER RIGHT RING FINGER.

It wasn’t until after she had left the Surf With Amigas Retreat in Costa Rica that I heard her story, when the topic of fingers and leashes came up in our weekly classroom session. An amiga described her way of navigating a board through the whitewash, “a wrapping motion, directing the board by the leash.” Later on, this inspired a lively discussion amongst our crew of female surf instructors about the perils of the leash, while also revealing the story of Irene’s accident. 

What follows is Irene’s recount of that experience and how it has influenced her, in surfing and in life: 

It was 2012, I was 32 at the time and I was in Taiwan doing a Traditional Chinese Medicine Internship in the city of Tai Chung.  After hearing about the waves in Taiwan, I arrived and instantly started searching for surf spots. I found a spot called Fulong Beach, about 3 hours away from where I was staying by train. After contacting some friends, I decided to join them on a trip there that weekend, arriving a day before to give myself time to explore.

When I arrived to I found a surf shop that also served as a hostel.  I booked a room and met the owners, a cute newlywed Taiwanese couple. I went to sleep and put my alarm early for a dawn patrol session. 

I rented a longboard that morning and headed out to the beach bright and early. I don’t remember much about that first session, but I remember being happy.  I spent the rest of the day on the beach doing yoga and also rented a bike to explore. When the afternoon came I was already exhausted, but knew I only had two days to surf.  I wanted to commit to surfing as much as I could, because I had to be back in the hospital for my TCM internship on Monday. 

I decided to rent the longest, heaviest board so that I didn’t have to paddle much.  As I was entering the ocean, the swell started to pick up, and the whitewash felt stronger.  I was walking in, passing the waves by grabbing the nose of my board and through the whitewash. Suddenly a wave took my board, so I pulled it back using the leash. When I turned another wave was already coming, and I didn’t have time to turn the board around so I decided to pass through it by grabbing the tail.  I put my hand on the tail with my right ring finger next to the rope string that attaches to the leash. 

When the wave came I passed through it by pushing my hand on the tail. With the weight of the wave, the board, and me pulling in the opposite direction, the rope string amputated the tip of my right ring finger. I initially felt like the board had hit my hand, a strong slap. I didn’t think much of it, assuming it was just another bruise.  But when I brought my hand to the surface, I saw that I was missing the tip of my finger. I was in shock, it was surreal.  

The first thought that came to mind, was:  “Ok, don’t panic, you need to get out of the water and control the bleeding.”  I walked out of the water and the pain started to hit me.  I started to scream, “FUUUUUUCK”, over and over again, feeling the shock, the trauma, the pain, the loss.  I remember people were staring at me, feeling uncomfortable with my screams. I didn’t give a fuck. I continued to allow the trauma to move through my body and express it how I needed in that moment. I screamed, “HELP”, and shortly after the lifeguard appeared.  He was a young Taiwanese man, I could see he was very inexperienced.  He stared at me in shock.  I tried to signal to him that he needed to call the ambulance and to help me stop the bleeding. He did nothing. 

IN THAT MOMENT, I KNEW I HAD TO TAKE CARE OF THIS MYSELF. 

I put my t-shirt around my forearm and tightened it up like a tourniquet. After, I walked to the surf shop where the Taiwanese couple were. When they saw me, they instantly called the ambulance and were very supportive. I put my finger under running water to clean it from the ocean and sand. That’s when I felt the most pain.  It was excruciating. I covered it again with clean towels, keeping my arm raised to help stop the bleeding and went into the ambulance that had arrived. The Taiwanese surf couple drove behind me to the hospital. 

In the ambulance, I was panicking. But soon came the knowledge of all the spiritual practices I had done in my life.  I thought, “I have so many tools, now is the time to use them.” I started doing pranayama (breath work) and mantra repetition (like prayer). When I was focused on this, the pain went away. When I saw my finger again and was immersed in the experience of losing a body part, the pain came back. This was a beautiful realization of how potent our mind is, and how our breath is such powerful tool to relieve pain and stay in the present moment. Calming the nervous system allowed me to stay grounded. It was an incredible teaching moment.

When I arrived to the hospital, the Taiwanese couple stayed with me to help translate what the doctors had to say. I was very lucky. The plastic surgeon who only comes once a month happened to be there that day, and he was able to save my distal knuckle. This might not seem like much, but it gives me a little pad and more mobility of my finger. I am eternally grateful for that. When the surgery was finished, the Taiwanese couple payed for my hospital bills and had called someone from my TCM internship to come be with me. Lisa, a Vancouverite from Taiwanese heritage, went to the same TCM school in Vancouver with me. We were never friends, but she came anyways to be at my side. I will always be grateful for the generosity, kindness, and support shown to me by Lisa and the Taiwanese couple during this time.

After landing back in Taipei, Lisa’s dad came to pick us up from the airport and take us to Lisa’s aunt’s apartment. Her aunt received me with a home-cooked meal of chichek soup, full of heart medicine and herbs.  After that I went to my small apartment in Taichung to heal. 

I experienced PTSD symptoms for about a month, then slowly but surely they went away. I received lots of support from people in the hospital and neighbors all around. I felt like little angels where appearing right and left to give me love. I was alone but never alone. The great mother was taking care of me through the kind acts of strangers. Taiwanese folk will forever have a very special place in my heart because of this experience. 

MY FIRST SURF AFTER THE ACCIDENT WAS A YEAR LATER.

I surfed without a leash in Pacific Beach, San Diego. I had a great session and saw dolphins. It was amazing. My brother was pierced by a sting ray that same day, but that is another story. After that, I continued to surfed on and off until 5 years ago, when I moved to Tofino in Vancouver Island, BC. After the move I really started surfing more consistently. It was a perfect environment for me- since I had use a wetsuit and gloves, I felt protected and confident. 

Surfing is one of my passions in life, and I will be a surfer forever.  But this experience definitely changed my relationship to surfing.  Now I am more aware of the danger of the board. I don’t feel as carefree as I did when I started surfing. Even though I know I have the ability to do certain maneuvers and go for more critical waves, I psyche myself out because of fear [of the accident]. 

There is so much I still need to work on, but I am very proud of myself for sticking with surfing and not allowing fear to take my bliss away. Now, 10 years later, I can’t imagine my life without surfing and I am grateful for everything that I have learned through this beautiful journey of life. I’m grateful for the medicine of the ocean and for all the beautiful people I meet through this life transforming spiritual practice that is surfing! 

MY ADVICE TO OTHERS WOULD BE:

Keep your hands away from the tail! Cultivate deep belly breaths, those will keep you calm in difficult situations! Keep following your bliss! Keep searching for that perfect wave! Keep your heart open to new experiences and new people, you never know what life will gift you with!!  May you be safe, happy and free! Namaste. 

 

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