In a world where it seems increasingly easy to be reminded of the ways in which we are disconnected, be it difference of opinion, prejudice, or simply the echo chambers of our social media accounts, Indonesia reminds us how to come together again. What follows are some of my experiences in this beautiful country during my time at Surf With Amigas Retreats; each one has taught me to welcome the simplicity of love and connection.
Upon arrival at my hotel in East Indonesia, I was greeted by a small Indonesian woman at the front desk, who stood no taller than 4 foot 10 and wore a bright smile on her round, welcoming face. After checking in and using my limited Indonesian to tell her her what I’d like for breakfast the next day, she reached over the counter and enveloped one of my hands in both of hers, looking me straight in the eye and saying “synang bertamu denang kamu,” or nice to meet you.
I was immediately struck by what felt like such a sincere and intimate greeting.
The fact that I was so surprised by this gesture perhaps speaks to a greater difference between Western and Eastern culture. Since when did we lose, or have we ever had, such interest and closeness when meeting new people?
A week later another small act of kindness was bestowed upon me.
Biking to a cafe nearby the Surf With Amigas Retreat, the long skirt I was wearing got caught in the chain of my bike. With my skirt hanging almost halfway down my butt and one hand on the handlebars, I awkwardly steered to the side of the road. Within minutes a man driving down the road on his scooter pulled over to help me. Although only a few words were exchanged in Indonesian, there were plenty of warm smiles and laughs, and not long after we managed to get my skirt untangled, two other locals appeared to help retie my skirt and help me on my way. Again I was touched by how such a minor incident quickly galvanized a communal reaction.
Perhaps this spirit of lending a helping hand exists in many small towns around the world, but the openness and easy graciousness towards outsiders that I’ve experienced in Indonesia remains unmatched.
I’ve learned that this loving aspect of Indonesian culture isn’t necessarily limited to Indonesian people. The last day of our 10-day surf retreat, the swell had picked up significantly and we planned to take the boats out at sunset with the amigas to watch bombs roll through the lineup. Another instructor and I decided to take our chances and try to catch a few waves using some bigger boards we found at the resort.
After paddling out and being welcomed by a massive clean up set, we sat wide and on the shoulder to bide our time with butterflies in our bellies.
A few more sets came through, and an older Aussie paddled up behind us and lightheartedly joked, “C’mon girls, you gotta sit deeper than that if you want to catch anything!” The man introduced himself as Chris, informed us that he’d been coming here for 35 years, and welcomed us to sit at the peak with his posse of crusty Australian expats.
For the next few sets that came through, the old boys took turns calling us into waves and chatting with us. We felt fully integrated into the fold.
At many crowded breaks around the world, this sense of camaraderie and support feels like it’s been lost, or nonexistent altogether, especially as a woman in the water.
This is not to say that there aren’t examples of aggro lineups in Indonesia, as there most definitely are many. But for those of us who have had the privilege to spend time in this country, wherever you may be from, it’s easy to have a bit of Indonesian magic and compassion rub off on you. Having spent lots of time in this corner of the world over the years, I’ve realized that small interactions like these serve as a reflection of the earnest interest and openness towards others that seems to be pervasive throughout the country.
In the process of writing this and reflecting on the most recent 10-day Retreat with Surf With Amigas here in East Indonesia, I tried to think of one distinct or memorable moment that encompasses this unique region of the world and the people in it. However, as I began to write I quickly realized that I couldn’t use just one story or experience to describe it; rather, only a culmination of all the small moments would suffice.
All the interactions I described before, plus: the sunsets and stimulating conversations by the pool, jumping off the boat into sparkling water, a veritable human fish tank, watching local women walk along the exposed reef at low tide and harvest seaweed, seeing the squid boats light up the horizon under the full moon with the light filling my room, the cackling laugh of the ladies working in the resort kitchen while they teach me words in Indonesian and speak to me with the gentlest kindness, addressing me as “Miss Emma.”
All of it reminds me of the word terimakasih, which means thank you in Bahasa Indonesia, and literally translates to “take love.” I think we all could benefit from taking a little more love into our lives, and Indonesian culture does well to remind us of that.
